Grieving the eventual loss or the recent loss of a beloved dog, or pet....

I feel bittersweet sadness when I gaze into Heidi's eyes, my little dog. Those eyes have been a source of love, comfort and joy for 15 glorious years. What am I going to do when I can no longer gaze into those beautiful, soft, brown, loving eyes? Her eyes are like shiny mirrors, like a reflection of her soul joining mine. I know to some this may sound silly but not to me. The tears flow, the tears of my grief, all intertwined with the memories, the unconditional love that consumes me, that I feel for this precious gift I have had. This little creature is my LIFELINE. She has been experiencing some health issues that cause her to suddenly become rigid and fall over, it is devastating to watch. She is not balanced, she is sometimes disoriented, walks with a head tilt, stumbles down the steps, sometimes falls off the bed. At other times she will feel good, even plays a little. I love her! I miss the hikes, the running, the barking, I miss the the love she got from my 2 kids. The 2 kids do not care about her anymore, the kids are gone from my life and hers. She will not be in this universe much longer and it is painful and even more painful to have to grieve all alone. But, I find some joy in her still being alive and cherish every second I have left with her.
Peace.